I believe in swordfish

I quit smoking today. Yep, after almost 10 years of smoking, I gave it up.*

On the way to the store today, to pick up another 12 pack of Diet Dr.Pepper, I had to shove through a crowd of marauding teenagers. What scum! Taking up the sidewalk with complete disregard to anyone else! I miss that age..

I'm still young, don't get me wrong, but the reminders of my aging keep coming up all the time and it's depressing as hell. Pay for insurance? Picking said insurance, not making enough money to actually live on. It's scary! To hold onto my youth, I've decided to start a gang, based on something that got me in trouble in High School (and inadvertently sent to 'juvie'.)

Yarbles Crew, Why Cee in dis bitch. Joo noe? We'll take gangland by storm, you'll see. It's pretty easy to get in, but we have some pretty strict guide lines to adhere to:

• You must wear a white bandanna in your left back pocket at all times


• Grey t-shirts are worn for any type of gang meeting/barbecue/picnic/car wash


• You must be able to perform the gang handshake without a moments notice (revealed upon application approval)


• You must act like you know everything, and let other people think this too


• Never say sorry, unless you have to, but don't be sincere about it


• Be able to snarl


• Act smug at all times

Pretty standard stuff. I am obviously the leader. We'll find some other 'crews' to 'rumble' with down the road, but for now we'll just mull around my backyard, drink Heineken and scoff about the latest styles, hypothesize, scrutinize,and other things that end with the suffix 'ize.' Send all applications to Hans.Strongo@gmail.com, include your name and address so I can send your bandanna.

*I quit smoking for 45 minutes because I left my cigarettes on the kitchen table