Friday, May 30, 2008
Can you believe it? One full year has come and gone since I started pouring my deep and dark secrets into this shiny computer for all of the internets to see. Not that I've said anything too shocking, or that anyone who I haven't awkwardly and entirely self-satisfactorily told of its existence has read it. You know what I mean though... Or maybe you don't?
It takes a lot to write a blog, despite the way it's so carelessly thrown around. Otherwise, you end up being like one of the thousands of other douche bag bloggers out there, and no one wants that. That was my original goal with this blog: Search and destroy! Comb through the mediocre, pseudo-intellectual, creatively masturbatory and altogether mundane blogs from one corner of the internet to the next.
But, like most things with more than a few steps and effort involved, I lost interest. I decided to join that group. Those elite few that blog through the realization that they're really not as hilarious as they think they are. They push themselves to come up with something witty, even though they haven't slept and they've got stuff due at work or school or at the unemployment office.
We 'bloggers' are like the inoperable brain tumor of the net. Sure, you can go sailing with your dogs and all that jazz, but sooner or later, you're going to end up reading one. And you're going to think it's stupid and gay and want to make fun of it. But what type of medium does one choose for shit talking a most likely obscure and unknown place upon the internet? A blog! Fight fire with fire, that's the ticket. Well, long story short, I've been here for a year and pussied/lazied out of the original dream.
I'd like to think I've performed a service to those precious few that diligently read this; palms sweaty with anticipation of an amusing Hans Strongo anecdote. You folks are the reason I boot up in the morning. The reason I live the way I do, with the exception of alcoholism, which I inherited.
That's actually not true, not entirely I guess. I feel bad for letting this thing go for so long. Jesus, almost an entire month without an update? Way to go... I strive for accuracy with this bullshit, and perhaps that's my problem. I have to wake up, go to school or work, and prose up all the pedestrian bullshit that happens on the way. I don't want to sound like I'm whining (Or whingeing for you Eurotrash types) but yeah, that's sort of how I do things. If there's nothing epic going on, it takes that much more effort for me to come up with something to write about, and if you ask anyone of my teachers from high school, effort is not one of my strong suits.
Rest assured though, my devoted blogees, I will be attempting to come up with more bullshit for your time wasting and brain numbing pleasure. Phase II is coming! You've been warned, be there or be square!
Blame Hans Strongo