Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Bloggin' is my business and business is mediocre at best.

First and foremost, Happy Halloween. The day when whores wear extra tight pants and cat ears and call it a costume. When kids get abducted by pedophiles and houses get vandalized by teenagers. I hope they're still freezing eggs, those were always the best to throw at someone's face.

Sadly, with my responsibilities, I will not be celebrating Halloween, as I have a class until 10 PM. Sure, I could go out after, but then there's that pesky 9 AM class the next morning. Yes, all work and no play makes Hans Strongo a bundle of rage. Meh, what else is new? It's all pretty pedestrian, the holiday thing. Not just Halloween, all of them.

I've given up drinking. Yes, I know, I know.. I've said it before, this time for real. No more "Just a couple beers" or "No hard shit" I'm just done. No more alcohol. If my blogs start to make sense and show some coherent structure, you can blame my abstinence and I apologize in advance. I figure if I can give up drinking, I'll be able to give up smoking a lot easier, because addictions suck and I'm striving to be even more of a douche then ever.

For you geeks out there, they released Manhunt 2 today. A brief synopsis of the first one: You're a death row inmate, you're released by a dude called "The Director" who watches you on camera. You have to kill a bunch of people, snuff style, in order to gain your freedom. Fun stuff! Now, before it's release, this game was branded by the ESRB(bunch of retarded Christian fucks) as Adults Only, which will pretty much guarantee that the game will tank. With an AO(adults only) rating, stores have to be extra strict with sales of the game. Well, even with the Mature rating, leave it up to the liberal bags of dicks to try to ruin everything. This game was all over the news, being blasted for it's "Over-the-top violence and realism." Parents are being urged to not allow their children to play this, because logically, they will turn into pure bred killing machines. One Harvard twat even said that when played for the Wii, it teaches kids HOW to kill... They then went on to say how Columbine was pretty much influenced by a violent video game the two faggy goths used to like to play. Imagine my surprise, here I am still thinking Marylin Manson was still at fault.

Kids, play all the violent games you want. Shit, go into the streets and act out your favorite Grand Theft Auto moments. That's what kids do these days, accept it. They're going to sell drugs, they're going to have unprotected sex and rainbow parties. They're going to burn down churches and suffocate in plastic bags; it's nearly unavoidable. For these children, I'm releasing my idea for a new game controller.

Now, it's not yet patented, so please don't steal my idea. The gist is, after an afternoon of merriment and mayhem, giggles and guts, when your child must feed his need for blood after hours of polygonal pandemonium, let them play with this little gem. It comes with 1 9mm slug (refills available for large families) and an easy to use 1 button interface. Simply put the mouth piece into your mouth(or to the side of head/under chin) and pull the action trigger.*

* not responsible for any injuries/deaths caused by product. Don't be a fuck-hole, violent video games don't turn people into psychos, organized religion and politicians do. Listen to heavy metal and worship Satan, have unprotected sex, and do whatever the hell you want until you're old enough to be tried as an Adult, then grow the fuck up.

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